“I love it when my child gets distressed as I leave them at child care”, said no parent ever.
Starting child care is a big step for both the child and the parent. For some children it will be the first time they have been cared for by anyone other than close family, and parents might feel apprehensive about how its all going to go. Many parents worry that their child wont be cared about like they are at home, that they will be left crying without comfort, or that they wont be able to get their lunch box open and they’ll go hungry.
The transition to child care is all the more difficult when the child experiences extreme separation anxiety. Separation anxiety is the distress felt by the child upon separation from a loved one and occurs in varying degrees according to the child’s developmental stage, personality, health, familiarity with the situation they are going into, and past experiences of separating. From an evolutionary perspective, it is a very clever survival mechanism; distress upon separation from a loved one keeps a young child in close proximity to someone who will protect and nurture them. Nifty hey?!
So what is the best way to manage drop-offs that involve leaving your child howling in someone else’s arms, trying to claw their way to the door to follow you back home? Fortunately for the vast majority of children who come to the centre, their anxiety reduces with time as they become used to the staff and the routine. Here are a few tips that might help:
- Our team do care about your child and will make every effort to help them feel welcome and safe. You are leaving your child in safe hands.
- Keep your drop-off routine consistent so your child learns what to expect. You are welcome to spend some time settling your child into an activity before you leave.
- Always say goodbye to your child rather than ducking out when they are distracted. Unexpected disappearances can increase your child’s anxiety because they worry that you might disappear at any moment.
- Remember that separation anxiety is normal and is your child’s way of trying to keep safe. You ARE leaving them in a safe place and they will soon learn that too.
- And finally….. the staff WILL help your child open their lunch box, and hey, if you put an apple in they will even make it into a cored slinky spiral for them!
Written by Linda Finnin. Linda is a registered psychologist and a past parent, volunteer and committee member of COCC.
